I am quite bright and if I applied myself I could be getting full As and A*s in my GCSEs, but as of yet I've never done a single hours revision and don't intend to start. I just drift through life and take things as they come, even if we got told of an exam 5 weeks before it happened, it would not affect my life at all and I would be just as prepared if they told me the day before.

    I don't know why, but exams just don't feel important to me, they are trivial, people fuss about them "Oh without good exam results you wont get a good job.", that's the other thing, I don't want to get a good job, I drift through life taking everything as it comes. I do have the ability to get a good job, with decent pay, but the idea of it terrifies me. I do not want to do the same thing everyday, going into an office at 9am, leaving at 5pm, getting some paper that I can exchange for goods and food. Wasting a whole third of my life earning money doing something I don't want to do.

    Most people can just settle down like that but to me it would feel like I am wasting my time and my life and it is my worst nightmare. I have great difficulty doing things I don't want to do, homework for example, the only reason I do it is because if I don't I'll have to stay behind an hour after school and doing the homework usually takes less than an hour, and even then I always leave it until about the very last minute and put no thought or effort into it whatsoever, I actually struggle to find the willpower to do the homework, it sounds stupid but I do. Right now I've got a piece of maths homework right in front of me that I could do in 20 minutes, but I know I wont do it until the very last minute, even if I get 2 hours free where I could be doing it, I wont. I'll just watch TV or find something else to do, it's only at the very last minute that I start worrying about getting in trouble if I don't do it. There are only 2 reasons why I do my homework, 1) To avoid punishment, 2) To avoid shame. The latter being the main reason, I know that if I don't do a major piece of coursework the teacher will be very disappointed and angry at me, and I don't want that, I just figure I best do it to avoid these 2 things. But if it was optional, I would not do it, definitely not.

    My mum and step dad are worried about my attitude to school, they seem to think that if I do not get a high paying job in an office as an executive or something then I'll be a failure and they want me to go to university and college. My dad however understands me, he tells me I can live with him and live my life however I want, and I can make money however I want, online or whatever. Which seems like a good life to me. Maybe you disagree, but to me successful person is not someone who is rich with a huge house a very good job, actually to be honest I have no views of success, live your life the way you want to, if you see yourself as successful then you are. Who cares what other people think. I understand that such a life that I'm describing isn't what is normally done, normally people leave school and get a job and work their way up, but it's just not for me to be honest. I'd rather be at home playing games and surfing the web selling things on eBay to make money :P

    If I can earn enough money to live this way I'll do it, I do have a few concerns about pension etc, what are you supposed to do when your health starts to deteriorate and you get old and have no savings. Do you get any support off the government? I'm not sure if I'd do it until that age to be honest, maybe some day I would tire of this lifestyle and want something new. A lottery win would be perfect for me, but it's not something I count on happening, hope to happen of course, doesn't everyone.

    As you can see I have no real aspirations outside what I like to do now, I wouldn't mind seeing different parts of the world but if I had to choose between that and a new PC I'd definitely go for the PC. It would last longer. So yeah, I'm not sure what to do. I can't see any way to make myself interested in schoolwork, the "You wont be able to get a good job" line doesn't work on me, and to be honest I don't see the point.

  This is just me letting my thoughts out, and I want to know what you think and if you can maybe give me some good advice.

The game that the busy adult world plays is utterly stupid, inefficient, and disgusting. It is driven entirely by ego and the cutting of other peoples' throats. It's delusional. It's insane.  But if you don't want to keep playing the game, you have to put together a plan to get out of it. It's not a good idea to just let it take control of you by taking life as it comes. That way of life is natural of course, but you have to get out of the game first!

How can you be self sufficient for the rest of your life? That's the biggest question. People who play the game think they're answering this--truthfully, most of them are not. Their 9-5 way of life is not sustainable. Even the currency they keep their wealth in is not sustainable here in the US. A lot of people will end up very poor when they get older--in mind, body, and financially.

I can't answer the big question yet, but I'm working on it. You really have to have a plan. If you have close friends, maybe you can try something together. Buy land, learn to farm, live off-grid--that sort of thing. There's lots of options but I don't know of any that are easy. You'll need to do a lot of research. All this will take lots of work, but you'll be able to settle young and for the rest of your life if you do it right.

I don't suggest just giving up right now. You'll be chewed up and spit out by the system. You don't want to live on the streets. Maybe you should play the game a little bit longer. Get a job and save as much money as you can. If things get hard, remember that you're executing your plan to leave the system--there's actually a light at the end of the tunnel this time! You'll finally be doing something for yourself. Just try to stay out of debt. Expensive colleges and new cars probably aren't the best ideas.

Also, when it comes to education, get to somewhere you enjoy as fast as possible because that's where the real learning starts.  If you don't like class, you're wasting your time.  The brain trashes unpleasant times.  At least mine does.  That's why I regret not dropping out of high school and going right to college.  I learned nothing in high school.  Literally nothing.  0.  I did not improve at anything.

Post edited at 10:22 pm on Aug. 27, 2008 by shadowpool

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Your past does not define you; you define your past.